My son and I often play games, he’s five years old so our games can range from pirate battles in the middle of the ocean to simple board games like snakes and ladders.
Today we decided to play hide and seek.
I counted to fifty while he went to hide in one of the three hiding places that he always picks.
‘Ready or not, here I come’ I called, as I slowly made my way to the sofa. I looked down and there he was two little feet sticking out from behind the sofa, accompanied by muffled laughter.
Oh, I can’t find you anywhere!’ I explaimed, knowing that the idea that he’d hiden well would cause him to jump out of his hiding place in excitement.
‘Right’ I said ‘time for bed’
As I tucked my son into bed and kissed him good night, a small figure appeared at the bedroom door.
‘Mummy,’ It whispered ‘you didn’t come to find me.’
really good. I enjoyed it very much.
What I like about this is [spoiler] the fact that you (the reader) don’t know which one is the imposter[/spoiler]
Amazingly cute but creepy, good job! Wish it was more complex though, but the simplicity does a lot for the story.
I like the ones that make you think.
I like the story but was confused why did the kid ask about the mother. Did the mother leave the child. But besides that the story was short but sweet or creepy and sad.haha lol pls keep writing.
i loved the story it defo gave the creepy factor you need, i would advise to slowly transition to the bedtime rather than it suddenly cut off. For example say something like, “Later that night i’m tucking my son into bed when suddenly…” etc. Keep up the good work! 🙂
And then she found 5 dollars
lacking important transitional elements, and crucial details pertaining to the time and why they were suddenly from play mode to bed mode but it’s got a solid foundation in the main idea:
[spoiler]-play hide and seek with kid
-find kid
-tuck kid in later
-kid comes back like what the fuck mom you didn’t find me as the parent tucks in some kind of interdimensional shapeshifting kidbeast [/spoiler]
Very creepy indeed
Aww, I want to cry. :,( I love it; I love pasta’s that are tiny but it’s all in there. 10/10
could have been fleshed out a little more, with a more tangible sense of timing. Great premise though, keep it up!
This is very confusing :-\
That’s what I thought byum it is pretty stupid how its like that
This wasn’t really that good cause the boy shou’lve been the one behind the door
omg what a cute mom ;-; How sad they’re both gonna die anyway
This creepy and cute at the same time.
Short, simple, but very well written… I love it
Surprisingly creepy. short and to the point. leaves room to wonder.
Then i remembered i have twins.
i like this pasta. thumbs up!